Tuesday, October 21, 2014
dear Stella - a letter to my daughter about embracing femininity
My Dearest Stella-
I am sorry that this is the world in which you are growing up. It's a world that tells us as women that our bodies are broken, that there is something wrong with them and that we need intervention in order to fix them.
They offer birth control pills to put off pregnancy because "it's just not fair that men don't have to carry babies but we do." Abortion to rid ourselves of that burden in case the pills fail and we accidentally get pregnant. Egg freezing so that we can have babies later when we do decide that it's time. And all for what? So we can "be like men" and have a career? Daughter, the truth is that keeping a home and raising children is an admirable and respectable career. It's a career that carries with it far more influence and power than it receives credit for.
All of these "solutions" imply that the very nature of how our bodies work as a woman needs correction, assistance and help. Supposedly we're broken and we need to be fixed. Nuh uh. You are not broken. You were made in the image of your Creator. He designed you with perfection and skill. You do not need to change the way you were made to function. Sweet girl, what you do need to do is embrace your femininity. Own it. Live it. And don't ever support efforts to change it because they all carry with them the same message- you're broken and you need to be fixed. What a big fat lie.
When you find yourself believing that lie, when you start to think that being a woman is hard, my prayer for you is that you'll remember who God made you to be, and how much He cherishes you as that person. You are distinctly female. You carry within your heart and soul feminine qualities- qualities that no man can possess. Press into those things. Embrace those things.
Daughter, you are the crown of creation. Over the course of six glorious, incredible days, God made the earth and the expanses of the sky, the universe, the sun and the moon. He filled the earth with water and land and everything that walks and swims and crawls and flies. He planted seeds and trees and made them grow. And he made a man. And He said that it was good. It was all so, so good. But do you know what was not good? For man to be alone. And do you know how He solved that? He made a woman. Woman, the very last created being in the entire creation story. And with her, it was all complete. Finished. Done. Because, after that, He rested from His work. It was complete.
He crowned creation with the beauty and femininity of woman. And He adores you sweet girl. He loves you and dotes on you. You bless Him and He delights in you just.the.way.you.are. Just the way He made you.
Do you see why there is no change that needs to be made? Do you see why I can so confidently tell you that you are not broken, you are not in need of help, you don't need a solution for your femininity? Because, you never were broken. There never was anything wrong. There is nothing you need to change or apologize for in being distinctly female.
Stella, I thank God every day for who He made you to be. You are a daughter of the Most High King. You are the beautiful and wonderful and delightful work of His hands. What a glorious and incredible gift you are to me, to your family, and to those around you. Don't you ever think of yourself as anything less than that. Because you are actually so much more, worth so much more. You have within you a divine dignity.
I love you sweet girl and so does Jesus. I pray that you will never ever forget that Jesus loves you and that the truth of that knowledge will penetrate your heart and cause you to live for His glory, chasing after Him with total abandon all the days of your life.
And I cannot wait to watch as that happens.
With all the love a mother can give,