If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ~John 15:7
Remember back in January when I posted my 4 Big Goals? Of the 4, number four scared me the most. I mean, it's huge. It requires me to truly, 100% rely completely on God, His provision, His call on my life and His leading. I mean, it's up to Him if I even get past the prayer portion of it. It's completely and 100% up to Him.
Well, I decided before the beginning of the year, actually before Eli was even born, that once 2013 rolled around, I would take 30 days to pray. I asked Ben to pray with me. And we would pray for wisdom, for guidance, for confirmation and for scripture. I was praying Psalm 127:1
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.
In other words, God only annoints what He, Himself initiates. And if I was going to open a PRC, if I was going to take any step toward whatever it was that I felt He was calling me to, I wanted confirmation that He had initiated it. Because, more than anything, more than saving babies, more than ministering to women in need, I want to glorify the Lord in this, whatever this is. And I want Him to annoint it. I want whatever it is to be completely dependent on Him.
Toward the end of January, I received a Facebook message from a woman who is the director of an incredible maternity home ministry in the valley. She asked if we could meet sometime soon. I was excited to do so.
During our meeting, (aside from finally being able to tour the maternity home that has been here for years and I've never had the chance to see it!) she offered me the director position of a local pro-life organization. I was honored, humbled really. I told her I would need to pray about it; in fact I had been planning to spend at least the month of February praying about how the Lord wanted to use me to save babies and serve women in this community.
I left that meeting with a thousand ideas and questions swirling around in my mind. Was this what God had placed on my heart? Is this how he was calling me to serve?
I told Ben about the conversation I had had and his first response was, "do it!". He is so supportive of me and he has total confidence in me. What a blessing that man is.
My first concern was that the organization is not necessarily a ministry, at least in the way I have been a part of ministries in the past. For whatever reason, I was feeling that God was calling me specifically to ministry. As Ben and I talked about it, I started to realize that everything I had ever done within the pro-life culture was ministry related: peer-counselor at a crisis pregnancy center, board member of a crisis pregnancy center, prayer, service projects, event planning for a crisis pregnancy center (seeing a theme here?). Crisis Pregnancy Centers are what I know. They are where I have spent the past 8 years serving. Of course that's what I would lean toward.
But what if God was calling me to something different than that, something outside of that, but still connected to it? I prayed about it.
We discussed all of the reasons I should do it. The opportunity would allow me to be involved in all facets of the pro-life culture: ministry, prayer, politics, working with college students, talking to pastors, and church groups. And it would use my spiritual gifts: leadership and teaching. It's an excellent fit.
And then we discussed all of my reservations: being a mom of 2 young children, in a family with 1 car. There is a time restraint there, for sure. There is a limited amount of energy and resources on my part. What if I couldn't do the position any justice? What if I just totally let everyone down? What if things never even got off the ground? Or worse, what if they do get off the ground and I totally drop the ball?
That's where things sat for weeks. I continued to pray, and to search scripture. I kept my heart open to the Lord's leading during Bible study. Periodically Ben and I would discuss if further. It sounded like a great idea. It was definitely something I could do and probably something I would love.
But I still didn't have confirmation. No solid word from God. And my prayer remained the same: Lord, show me that You initiated this.
By now, the month of February had passed. 30 days had gone by. I was beginning to think I just needed to make a decision. Maybe I hadn't prayed enough. Maybe I should have fasted. Maybe this was one of those situations where God was expecting me to use the brain He gave me (there are definitely those circumstances!)
And then, last Thursday, March 15, I clicked over to a dear friend's blog and read this post.
Bam. It was as if Jen had written that post as a letter to me. Like I had told her exactly what was going on and that was her answer (which was not the case, although we did discuss it the next night over dinner).
But there it was. Confirmation. Scripture. All in one place. All at one time. And all through a fellow blogger. Tell me the Lord doesn't use this online community for His purpose! Ladies, He does.
I immediately felt the Holy Spirit pressing on my heart. And I turned to share it with Ben. He just gave me that smile, like "I told you so." And in that moment I experienced John 15:7. I had prayed for it. I had asked for it, and more importantly I had remained in Christ, in His word. And He answered my prayer. Because He does answer prayers.
for a wide door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many adversaries ~1 Corinthians 16:9
Jen writes: "You should start now. Right now. Whatever God called you to... weeks, months, or years ago... that thing, that project, that ministry that He laid on your heart, the one you forgot about or sinfully avoided... that thing... do it now." So, Monday morning I accepted the position. And I could not be more thrilled to see what God has in store.