Wednesday, May 23, 2012

why I won't be reading "fifty shades of grey"

My prayer in writing this has been (yes I've been praying over this post), first of all, that the Lord would give me the words to say clearly what is on my heart and for it to be scriptural. Second, that you would understand that I am not writing this from a place of judgement. I struggle with my own sin just as we all do. But I write this out of concern and because it has been heavy on my heart.

I've noticed a trend recently, among married Christian women. Obviously women love 50 Shades of Grey. Apparently 1 book is sold every second. But what is truly surprising to me is that it isn't just women outside of the church who are buying it, obsessing over it and recommending it to friends. It's women inside the church; women who are in Christ, saved by grace and called to be the light of the earth.

Let's first begin with a brief explanation and synopsis of the book (keep in mind that this is based purely on what I have read about the book and an interview with the author):

This book is characterized as Erotic Fiction.

Anastasia something-or-other is a young college student. Oh yeah, and a virgin. She meets Christian Grey who is older, wealthy and interested in her. The two fall in love and (I don't know if its before or after) they enter into a contract in which he takes care of her completely in return for her being a "submissive" sexually.

The book is based on what is known as BDSM, which refers to "bondage and dominance, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism." Basically, the plot is tied together with a series of graphic bondage sex scenes. When asked, "There's a lot of graphic sex [in the book]?" by the interviewer, the author EL James plainly says, "yes."

There's no denying it: the book "is pornography, plain and simple." At least that's how one man characterized it. When I originally heard about the book, the first thing I wanted to hear was a man's opinion. Let's face it: it's become normal and expected for men to watch and enjoy porn (that's sad and pathetic to me, but it's the truth). Therefore, I wanted to know the opinion of someone who knows pornography when he sees it; someone who porn has been targeting for decades.

Frank writes: "The narrative is comprised of 9 or 10 lengthy yet well-paced sex scenes tied together with some mindless, almost purposefully banal filler..." Wow. Remember what the author said? Those sex scenes are graphic and apparently "well-paced."

"50 Shades of Grey" is pornography for women.

Now before we dissect the rather alarming storyline, we need to address the fact that books like this induce sexual lust. That is their purpose: to cause the reader to get swept up in the story and fantasize about it. The author admitted herself that 50 Shades is a culmination of all of her fantasies (which is quite disturbing, but more on that momentarily).

Pastor Mark Driscoll talks about these types of romance novels in Real Marriage. He says, "They commonly entice sinful lust and cause women to fantasize about sexual sin with all the alluring power of visual pornography for men." In other words, these novels affect women's minds and hearts in the same way that visual porn affects men's mind and heart. It's all porn in God's eyes.

But let's just say for argument's sake that it doesn't cause you to lust or fantasize and you really are just reading it for the storyline (which, let's face it, is exactly like saying you read playboy for the articles). You are still exposing yourself to graphic sex, sinful fornication, sexual immorality.

Ephesians 5:3 is incredibly clear on this point: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity... because these are improper for God's holy people" [emphasis mine].

As a Christian, you are called holy; meaning sanctified, set apart, clean and pure! We must not do anything to defile ourselves before the Lord. Jesus says it most simply: "Be holy as I am holy." Consider that Christ lives and dwells in you. Is 50 Shades a book that you would read to your Savior? If not, and I sincerely hope you answered 'no', than it's not a book that He would have you read to yourself.

Now, on to the storyline. Can we talk about bondage for a moment please? Words I never thought I'd type into my blog or say aloud. PS- I'm about to apply my degree in psychology; it could get a little technical.

Recall that the entire novel is based on BDSM, or in layman's terms: bondage. Bondage is basically sadism and masochism in action. Both are considered by psychologists to be paraphilias: "paraphilia being a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her. A paraphilia involves sexual arousal and gratification towards sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme." [emphasis mine]

The characters in this novel, the ones that readers are obsessing over and fantasizing about, are involved in an "atypical and extreme" way of life, according to medical professionals. There is nothing normal about bondage as a lifestyle. But that is what must be so intriguing about this book to so many. That's also why indulging in it is dangerous and I would even propose, unhealthy.

When reading the description of Christian Grey, I can't help but think of a sexual predator, who grooms his young, naive victims. Not to mention, the reason he is in to bondage is because he was once a victim himself, as an abused child. And Anastasia, like most women in pornography, is dominated by and submissive to the man. This characterization of women is normally criticized as sexist and degrading (when the film is directed by a man for men). But when a woman writes the storyline for women to read, all of a sudden it becomes a fantasy that readers can't get enough of. Double standard?

Either way, it's all wrong. It's all twisted and perverted. It's all porn. It's all impure. And it's all sinful.

The bottom line:

As Christians, we are called to keep the marriage bed pure: "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure" Hebrews 13:4. That means nothing should defile your marriage, especially sex with your spouse. Books like this sear attitudes, expectations, storylines, images and fantasies into your mind that will make their way into your bedroom, whether you like it or not.

As Christians we are called to think on things that are pure: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything be excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things" Philippians 4:8. Is 50 Shades of Grey true, noble, right, pure, lovely or admirable? Than put your mind to better use and dwell on the things of God instead.

As Christians we are called to live a holy life: "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written "Be holy as I am holy" 1 Peter 1:15-16. In every single thing that we do, we are to be holy. Of course that's impossible while we still wear flesh on earth, but we can make the right decisions and be self-controlled. We can choose not to read a certain book or watch a certain movie. And by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can put our fleshly desires to death.

As Christians, we are called to guard our hearts and minds: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" Proverbs 4:23. If you have the time, please read this quick devotional about guarding your heart and mind. She writes, "Today I want to encourage you to value yourself and don't just allow anything or anyone, for that matter, to enter your heart. You are chosen, beloved, and special to God and He wants nothing to defile you."

Exposing our eyes, mind and heart to pornography, for any reason, in any situation, is sin. It must be recognized, confessed, repented of and fled from. Christ died for us to be holy and pure. And He is faithful to forgive our sins and cleanse us when we fail (1 John 1:9).

How wonderful that He cares so much for you?, that your value and worth is so great that He wants nothing less than perfect purity for you? And while His call to be holy is impossible by our own strength, and through our own will, there is nothing we cannot do or overcome with Christ in us.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galations 2:20

*Soli Deo Gloria*



59 comments:

  1. Great post!! And I love that your workng with Erin! (:

    X.

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  2. I am so happy that. You followed your heart and wrote this post. Its so funny, how God uses us, even writting our blogs. It definetly is a ministry, anyway, we were in costco the other day,my husband says " oh lots of people i know are reading this book and they love it, do you want to get it, " i had heard it was good but that was all either of us heard.. I am thankful i said,no thanks, i don't have time to read...
    Thanks for listening to God and explaining this book. I am grateful.

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  3. huh. i must live in a bubble because i've never heard of this book before. although it doesn't sound like anything i'd be interested in anyway.

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  4. Hm, I've never heard of the book either. This is how I feel about many romance novels, even some of the "Christian" ones. Thanks for sharing the Truth.

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  5. Thanks for writing this and for standing strong in protecting your marriage!

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  6. My friend Sara linked to this and I'm glad she did. I had heard buzz about the book but had no idea what it was about. I'll definitely be steering clear and letting others know.

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  7. Jessi, I have never heard of it either but thanks for the post. I'm sure it come up soon.

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  8. AMEN sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You could not have said it better :) So proud of the confidence and strength with which you wrote this truth. Your perspectives on the aspect of bondage in the book is wise and very insightful. You are a gem of a woman and I know the Lord is so pleased with you writing this post!! Mine's comin'! ;) Love the truth you stated: "Either way, it's all wrong. It's all twisted and perverted. It's all porn. It's all impure. And it's all sinful."
    Thankful to stand with another young woman in this dark time in our culture and world. Thankful for you friend!

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  9. I had never heard of this book until I read another girl post something similar to yours. I applaud you on speaking your heart. Not only is it YOUR heart but the heart of our heavenly father who only wants what's best for his daughters. He knows these subtle tactics of the enemy are only meant to kill steal and destroy all that is good in our lives. I'm new here, but thank you so much for listening to God.

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  10. ok, i guess im not brand new since ive already joined your sight..haha..but i was on my phone outside and was only reading the post, couldnt see with the glare the name of the blog =)

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  11. Amen! Thank you do much! I recently (yesterday) wrote a post about this book, but my focus was on how sin can twist itself into a manageable package and insert itself into our lives without is realizing it. I would love to have this post of your guet posted on my blog as a follow up to what I said. Would you be interested in that?
    Thank you again so much for doing this and for taking the time to pray over what you wrote. It has been so heavy on my heart as well and I prayed and sought counsel as well before posting what I wrote. You were clear and thorough as well as holding fast to God's word.
    Alesha <3
    Here is the link to the post I wrote if you are interested.
    http://tobless.blogspot.com/2012/05/50-shades-of-grayredefined.html

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  12. i'm sorry but you are a prude! and as you have your opinion...i am allowed mine!

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  13. It is interesting to hear your opinion on this book. However, that's all it is. Just a book. Some women just enjoy reading something different than the typical Nicholas Sparks novels. I think if your relationship with your significant other is strong enough that you can easily talk about this book with them and not make it an issue.

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  14. Thank you so much for this post (I found it from Jenna of Eat, Live, Run). I first heard of this book months ago in the news as something women were still "whispering about," and I knew then that it was something I would never read. What amazes me is how it has exploded over the past months into almost a national phenomenon. With that seems to come increasing acceptance of what sounds like some really disturbing subject matter. I'm really thankful you came forward with a Biblical perspective. We women who are believers should really not be associated with this--also, this is a chance to maintain the high standard for ourselves that we hold men in our churches to. So thank you for your brave post and for praying over it before you wrote--I appreciate your wisdom and insight!

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  15. I just want to preface this comment by saying that I appreciate you tackling this book from a Christian perspective. I've seen a few posts on other blogs about this book, and I think what you said here is important given the rise of the book's popularity. I also admire you for following what you felt God called you to write, because that's certainly not always easy.

    That being said, I would like to pose a question to you: would you have written this post if 50 Shades of Grey was Bonnie and Clyde themed rather than based on BDSM? Would you have the same qualms about this book if Christian and Anastasia lived as normal human beings by day, but under the cover of night terrorized the town, robbing banks, brutally murdering unsuspecting victims, all of which was described in graphic, unrestrained detail? I will admit that I've never read 50 Shades of Grey, nor have I read your blog long enough to know where you might stand on this, but I do find it unsettling how quick we as Christians are to point a condemning finger at anything resembling sexual sin without doing the same towards other sins. I completely agree with everything you said in this post in regards to purity, leading holy lives, and guarding our hearts and minds. But I don't think Proverbs 4:23 is only talking about guarding your heart from sexual sin. What about anger, jealousy, malice, greed? Are these not sins as well? Like I said, I'm fully on board with what you're saying here. This whole judging-violations-of-the-seventh-commandment-as-infinitely-worse-than-violations-of-the-other-nine thing has been weighing on my mind a lot lately, so I thought it would worth mentioning. This comment is meant to be a discussion starter rather than an attack, so I sincerely hope you don't think that I'm coming after you, because that is not my intent at all.

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  16. Just wanted to point out that you mention he is a predator and that they enter a contract for her to be his submissive and him the dominant - that's incorrect. Pointing it out because you mention it several times. In the book she never ends up signing a contract, he gives up much of his behavior for her - everything that she asks of him, they actually end up getting married and having children in the third book.

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad someone mentions this!

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    2. The problem is that in real life, the ending would never be this way - Ever. And so it fuels false fantasy as reality. It skews women's views of what is healthy. But like dogs to their own vomit, some people enjoy wallowing in mire, until they realize the payment is very high.

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    3. That's kind of like "Pretty Woman" (Richard Gere, Julia Roberts) right? Glamorize prostitution where the pretty young prostitute falls in love with the billionaire and is taken from her life of street walking. It's unrealistic.

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  17. Thank you so much for this post. How convicting! I hVe not read the book, but was contemplating it based on the popularity. As a married Christian woman who often struggles with insecurities, I now realize that reading this book and other books similar would be incredibly hypocritical of me. I fear sometimes that this world will get ahold of my husband and I will no longer be good enough. Thank you for helping me realize and remember that I am capable of doing the same. This is an incredible post!

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  18. Isn't that Gods will, though? Isn't it Gods Will that the author wrote that, and again, part of His Plan that people read it?

    Would it not be His plan for her in life?

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  19. the above comment refers to the author of 50 Shades, not the author of this post.

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  20. It's nice that you decided to write this blog post, but considering your stance on pornography, lust and what not I am surprised to see the picture at the top of your page. You're straddling and making out with your husband. Such imagery may be tempting and lust-inducing to readers.

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  21. Thank you for this article! I agree with everything in it. I also agree that we shouldn't read books that glorify ANY sin - it doesn't have to be sexual. And - I have to say that I agree about your pic with your hubby. It's great that you have a strong attraction for each other...but save it for your private life, please! (And I thought that before I read your article.) I also never saw Titanic, and never will. Either God's Word is true, or it's not...I want to keep my mind pure. And trust me - I've got 3 kids and have been married for 19 years, so I'm no prude. Our sex life is great! But I never want to give the devil a foothold to bring comparisons into our private life.

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  22. I haven't read the book, but sex between a husband and a wife is a blessed, joyful thing. However, ladies, can we admit that the marriage bed can (and does) become stale as the years pass? I see nothing wrong with fantasy, especially when it serves to provide a married couple with a more fulfilling, exciting sex life. Stop being so sanctimonious. It's about time women had the same kind of innocent stimulus men have enjoyed for years.

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  23. Sadly, you are the third voice I've heard saying this. First Ashley (5ohwifey) when she asked for recommendations that did NOT include this, then both you and Erin when you responded to her tweet.

    That said, I have to say: thank you so much for writing this. I didn't know much about it before this post, but I didn't think it was something a Christian ought to be reading. (I also heard it was originally Twilight fan fiction, and after reading Twilight in high school, I didn't think it was something a Christian ought to be reading, either.) You do a beautiful job of explaining why this is pornography, and I think it's interesting to note, too, the minute most women hear anything to do with the word pornography they're up in arms about how it degrades and objectifies women. Somehow "mommy porn" is okay? It doesn't make sense to me. Thank you for speaking truth, Jessi!

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  24. it does seem a little weird that you're so passionately preaching on this "lust inducing" subject, while you have a picture of you dry humping your husband on your header.

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    1. The problem with the above statement is that while the author of the blog is discussing the facts of the book, the above commenter is not discussing facts, but TWISTING what is happening in the picture at the top of the blog. Again, a commenter thinks that a lie covers the truth - and has probably convinced themselves of their own lie.

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  25. Amen, sister. I had NO idea what this book was about until I read this, but I'm glad you were bold. Although, I am sorry you didn't address EVERY piece of literature that glorifies ANY type of sin besides sexual sin though... like that one anon. wants you to above. I mean... it's not like you have a child to raise or a marriage to invest in or anything... :)

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  26. I am so absolutely excited to see that you wrote this post- honestly I don't know much about the book but I knew enough to know it wasn't something I wanted to read!! And I wish Anom commenters would be brave enough to not go private!! LOVE YOU!!!

    xo

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  27. I totally agree with you. This is not a married couple, this is not what God wants in a relationship (that should be glorifying to Him and a mirror of our relationship with Christ) and it is absolutely pornography. I am sad that so many women, and especially christian women, are reading this and filling their heads with garbage. I think the other comments about books about other sins are really interesting comments. I think the main point is this book allows you to commit a sin through reading it (lust) whereas the other murder mystery type books dont make you interested in commiting these sins. Like, when you read pornography you lust but when you read murder mysteries you arent angry or hateful or wishing to kill.. ya know what I mean? Interesting food for thought though

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  28. Jessi, like the others, I applaud you for touching on a subject like this. It's something that I think any woman can struggle with (romance/graphic fiction) because, like you pointed out, it's like a type of "porn" for us. What I don't understand is how rude and disrespectful those that disagree with this post are being... or even from some of the ones that do agree... I've been reading your blog for awhile now... probably since you first starting writing it, and I never once thought that the picture of you and your husband was dirty or distasteful in some way. First, he's holding you (there's nothing provocative about this embrace). Second, you're sharing a kiss, not "making out" as someone posted. From your posts and blogs, I gather that you are a pretty strong-minded person, so I can't see you being hurt by any of this, but just in case any of this got to you... please don't let it! I thought you phrased everything in a very caring, non-judgmental way. You simply shared with your readers what the bible had to say on the matter and your feelings towards the book. God bless!

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  29. I had heard a lot about the book, but hadn't heard of the plot. It seemed like everyone one was reading it so I thought, "this must be a great book!" That thought totally changed when someone warned me not to for the very same reasons you just pointed out! I loved reading this post. You encouraged and inspired me even more to turn to pure and God pleasing works if fiction. Girl, delete all of those negative, un-loving "anonymous" comments above and focus on the positive Christian gals who applaud you for this post and support your Godly opinions!

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  30. I first would like to point out that I wrote all of my opinions with my identity completely known. The least you Anon commenters can do is have the guts to show your’s. But aside from that, I will address some of the comments here:

    To the first Anon, please don’t be sorry. I am a prude and I’m proud of it! I call myself that quite often actually. I don’t see anything negative about striving for the perfect purity that the Lord has called me to (for my own good, by the way, not to keep me from getting in on something exciting that He doesn’t want me to know about).

    To the Anon who claims this is “just a book”. While I agree that it is fiction, with all due respect, so is visual pornography. Those storylines don’t really happen. People don’t really have sex like that. Women don’t really act like that with their partners. It’s all fiction. That’s why it’s dangerous! It creates unrealistic expectations between spouses. And again, fiction or not, it leads to a lustful heart and Jesus is clear that lusting is just as much of a sin as adultery and fornication.

    Which brings me to the point about using it within a marriage to “spice up your sex life”. Bringing anyone into your bedroom, whether it be a literal person, a porn video or fantasy about someone else, it’s only going to damage the relationship further. If your sex life has become “stale” than there is a deeper issue that needs to be addressed and it probably has to do with the intimacy in your marriage. That is something that takes time and effort to cultivate. Using pornography as a bandaid without addressing the underlying issue is not good, and it’s not Godly.

    And I can’t help but address the comment about how they end up getting married in the end. Um, yay for them? That doesn’t change the fact that the rest of the series is riddled with sinful, lustful, fornication. Why on earth would you want (or do you think that God would say it’s okay) to indulge yourself in that filth? Ever?

    And lastly, if the photo of me, in long sleeves and pants, kissing my husband while he holds me is offensive or in any way causes you to lust, than overt your eyes. Don’t read my blog. And stop being legalistic.

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  31. I have not heard of this book, but after 25 years with my husband, I can testify that in difficult times, we may want to use sexual fantacy as an escape, however, reality becomes more difficult. God blesses marraige and sex for couples who choose to honor Him. BTW, the picture of your precious baby eating that cake makes me want to be a glutton.

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  32. "If the photo of me, in long sleeves and pants, kissing my husband while he holds me is offensive or in any way causes you to lust, than overt [sic] your eyes. Don’t read my blog."

    So why not do the same with regard to "50 Shades"? If you feel passionately about it, don't read it. Live and let live--your conception of Jesus and what it means to be a Christian is not diminished by what others do. Likewise, most likely all the women out there happily reading "50 Shades" are not going to be filled with guilt & shame because you posted this diatribe.

    Why can't people make their own choices, especially when it comes to something as elemental as what they choose to read? Why do you have to be in control?

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    1. In case you didn't notice, the title of this blog is "Why I Won't Be Reading 50 Shades Again". The author is talking about why SHE is not reading it, and sharing those reasons publicly on her PERSONAL blog. If you take it personally as if it is directed at you, perhaps that is your God-given conscience speaking to you, because people recognize sin within themselves, but they naturally fight against it at their own peril. Sin IS enticing and it then destroys.

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  33. Alison- I am in no way trying to control what others read. If that were the case I'd be pushing for a book ban, which I am not. I believe very strongly in personal freedom. As the Bible says, "Everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial."

    And as you said, I will not be reading it. But as Christians, we aren't called to live our lives in a bubble. If we see sin and immorality and impurity, and if we see our sisters or brothers in Christ exposing themselves to it, we are called to speak up. Ephesians 5 tells us to "expose the darkness" and in 2 Timothy and Luke, we are called to rebuke fellow Christians who we sin taking part in sin.

    People can absolutely make their own choices, and I hope they do! My hope and prayer is that they take seriously their actions and decisions and the consequences of them. The Lord holds us to a high standard and I simply want to encourage women to hold themselves to the same standard. After all, its for our own good.

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  34. i am a Christian, and while I won't be reading this book for a variety of reasons, another thing i won't be doing is judging other people for reading it. (which is what this post of yours comes across as, regardless of what you intended it for) your defense of your header picture is roundabout and completely avoids the point...why do you think that is appropriate or non lust inducing, yet think the book is? what is the difference here? what makes what you're doing right, and readers of this book wrong? (in your words)

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    1. The author is not judging other people but explaining the reasons why she won't be reading it, hence the title. The reason people immediately feel judged is because their conscience is still actively, not totally seared (yet), and they are convicted by it.

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  35. Anon- I know my heart and its not one of judgement. If someone feels judged by this post, its not because I'm judging them. I assure you, I wrote this because, as I stated before, I am concerned for my sisters in Christ who have believed the lie that this book is just a book and not a big deal. It breaks my heart deeply to see women believe that lie and so I had to say something.

    Secondly, are you saying that porn isn't wrong? As I have layed out and as any description of the book clearly shows, this book is exactly that. To compare a photo of my husband and I to pornography is a little bit absurd.

    And as I said in a previous comment, if for whatever reason, it does cause you or anyone else to lust or sin, I invite you to overt your eyes. Seriously, don't read this blog. We all have our boundaries. There are certain movies I won't watch, books I won't read because I know what will lead me into sin and temptation. 50 Shades, however, is beyond the boundaries, I would suggest, for anyone just as pornography is. And that is my point. If you disagree, I would just ask that you consult scripture and the Lord about it.

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  36. So honored, and proud, to be your friend. Fabulous job.

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  37. I think posting a rant about a book you've never read and porn you've never seen has to be remarked upon. Your basing your own judgements on someone else's opinions. To be well informed and understanding you should read it yourself and form your own opinions rather then regenerating others. Secondly pornography has been around perhaps even longer then Christianity - and perhaps it'll even last longer then religion. By saying watching porn is sinful you're probably condemning most of the worlds population. Can your husband even state that he's never seen porn? He would be one of the very few men who haven't.

    To consider that it's sinful and evil is very misguided. Men are visual creatures and women can find pleasure in words and what's wrong to allow a bit of escapism through a novel? They are only words, and yes some people do like BDSM but if they keep it in their bedroom what is the problem?!

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  38. I wish more Godly women would stand up for what is right. Thank you for posting this. I read some Christian mommy blogs and I have been shocked at the amount of them that have been promoting this book. There is no place for something like this in our lives and I am in a marriage that doesn't need "spicing up" with this sick garbage. Way to go!

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  39. Anon- Obviously I'm not going to read the book, nor do I need to to know why. I don't have to try heroin to know it's bad for my body. I don't need to shoot myself in the head to know it will kill me. I can base my decisions on my understanding of right and wrong. I can listen to secondhand accounts and advice from medical professionals.

    Secondly, Are you seriously trying to argue that porn is okay because it's been around for a long time? Murder, prostitution and the like have all been around since the beginning. That doesn't make any of those things moral or okay to partake in.

    And similarly, are you using the "everyone else is doing it, so it's okay" argument? Again, that does not justify any behavior! We all know that even if something is legal that doesn't make it right! Consider just slavery as an example.

    Lastly, from Biblical standards, I can plainly and squarely say that yes, this book is "sinful and evil". I say that because it contains impurity and immorality, both of which the Lord calls us to stay away from. If you are into BDSM, that's your call. As I noted, medical professionals consider it to be abnormal and unhealthy. And as it is portrayed in the novel, according to Dr. Drew Pinsky, "I can't emphasize enough the disturbing quality of this." Interview here.

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  40. This was such a great post. Thank you for writing this. I shared it and have had other friends so appreciate your truth and ability to stand FOR that truth. Thank you. I have already had someone "be offended" and get mad, lol, butI dont care. the Bible is CLEAR, and if someone is claiming to be a christian and reading this filth, well the bible says to search yourself. It just makes me so so sad :(

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  41. Thank you for your post. It is very disheartening to me the way people, Christians and non Christians alike, will blindly follow the lead of others. It only took reading a few paragraphs of this book for me to get that sick feeling you get when you know it just isn't right.
    You have a gift and you very eloquently put my feelings into words.
    It is alarming to me that this book has the reputation of being able to arouse women when they read it. Anyone that is aroused by this type of sadistic behavior needs to seek professional help.

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  42. I must comment! I am a Christian, first and foremost. And I knew a wide variety of women were reading this book. I read approximately 1/3 of it. I don't think I even made it to the really heavy stuff everyone loves so much. So, as a Christian, I knew that reading it felt wrong. As a married woman, I was more or less disgusted by the idea of the dominance and submission of the lead female character. As a teacher, I was flat-out insulted by the fact that it was so poorly written. If this drivel can be published, I'll be sending my 4th graders' manuscripts to that publishing house!
    My bottom line was that it was stupid. It was SO stupid. Not only is it porn for women. It's BAD porn. I felt awkward just reading it. I can't imagine the mind of the woman who wrote it. Anyway, my bottom line, as a Christian, probably should've been that it was wrong. However, it was too dumb for me even to consider it wrong. Every time someone raves about how great it is I just think, "Is THIS what we've come to? People are too easy to impress." I wrote a blog post about it a few weeks ago, essentially ripping it apart.
    Thank you for your point of view!

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  43. I too have seen posts about this book everywhere and had no idea what it was about. Recently I saw one post that made me think it had something to do with what you talk about. I love that you wrote this. I'm glad you did I agree with all of it.

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  44. My wife is trying to get me to read these books, I told her I didn't want to read them because they are porn. She keeps insisting that I read them and telling me that they would be good for our marriage.

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  45. To the last commenter: From one man to another, you'd be wise to tell your wife 'Just... no.' First, as Jessie and (most of) the others have said, this is porn for women. And secondly, she wants her husband to read porn FOR WOMEN?

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  46. Jessi, I have had this in mind for a while now too, but you have crossed my path today and have said what I have been wanting to say!! When I saw thee hype about this book amongs my FB friends, one saying it was "mommy porn at it's best" and hearing bits here and there about this book.. my comment on FB was " I wish it were the Bible that all this hype was about"!!! I also have had no curiousty or even a want to read this book!! You are sure of Woman of God!!! I would like with your permission to copy and paste your article on my FB page. For those of you who have said that Jessi is ranting???, I sure don't see that as ranting and only words of truth. This world is becoming so immoral and convincing ourselves that as everyone else is doing it, it's ok!!! NO it is not ok in the eyes of God... and that is what matters!! Thankyou so much for all those words.... Bless you and your family....xoxox

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  47. Hi Jessi,

    This is the first post I ever read from your blog and from there I totally fell in love with it. You are an amazing woman of faith and an example of truly living and serving for His Kingdom. Incidentally upon reading your other blog posts, I discovered that we have something in common- I lived in Texas (south, near San Antonio) for almost one year. I had been in Mission Viejo, California for 2 years prior and was a California girl- always. What proved to be the most difficult year of my life brought me and my family back home. It has been rough and although I'm still not clear as to why God sent us there in the first place I can say that by honoring and submitting to my husband, ultimately it may have been the best thing for our family.
    Keep up the great posts !! I love each and every one. You inspire me.

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  48. Thank you Jessi! I personally was having extreme difficulties understanding why any woman would read these books. It breaks my heart that we as women would allow this type of book into our minds and hearts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and heart on this matter.

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  49. What really bugs me is the fact that women complain about standard porn being degrading to women, yet this book is clearly much more twisted, perverted, disturbing and much more degarding to women. Whenever a woman says she's looking for her christian grey I turn around and run a mile in the opposite direction. It seems that women complain about abuse but, judging by this book, actually want to be abused in such twisted and weird ways yet they always label men as pervs. To be honest this book has put me off women all together - it's filthy, perverted and should be banned. Anyone with these kinds of fantasies is clearly severely disturbed in the mind.

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  50. Wow! A lot of "AMEN"s! :) Well, here's another one. Thank you for being so brave to write about this!!

    I don't read/watch Twilight for the same reason. Granted it isn't graphic like "50 Shades", but it plays into women's romanitc fantasies and will only cause unrealistic expectations in a relationship (much like porn does for men). Danger, danger, danger! Stay away :)

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  51. Love you friend & your boldness! All the amens & hallelujahs to you :)

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  52. One small correction. Playboy articles are actually interesting and well written, so your comparison doesn't really work there.

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