Tuesday, April 24, 2012

thoughts on passive men and 8 years with one who is not

You've heard it said that the Fall was Eve's fault; that she was the one who believed the serpent; she ate the fruit first; she conned Adam into joining her. But the truth is, Adam is even more responsible than Eve. He was standing right beside her. Yet, he did nothing. He froze. He was passive. He allowed it to happen. And then on top of it, he joined in the sin.

"When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it." ~Genesis 3:6 (emphasis mine)

There are overbearing men and there are passive men. Both equally fall short in their duty as a husband and leader of the home. But lets focus on the passive ones. Husbands are called to lead their wives. They are called to lead their homes. Passivity is not an option and in most cases, I would argue that it's sin.

"For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy... In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." ~Ephesians 5:23,5,8

If you know anything about me, it's that I'm headstrong, independent and alot little bit stubborn. In many cases a woman like me tends to end up with a passive man. After all, opposites attract, right? But that is not how it should be. And it's certainly not what happened with me.

I needed and still need a man who is more dominant than I am. I need a man who is even more headstrong than I am, but who is patient enough to deal with my personality. I need a man who is willing to butt heads with me when I'm too stubborn to see my own folly. Thankfully, and by the grace of an amazing God, I found just that man.
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8 years ago today, I married a man who understands biblical headship and lives by it. He leads me and guides me. He's patient with me when it's required. He loves me unconditionally and he serves me like no one I've ever known in my life. He challenges me to be a better wife. And I know that every day I fall short. He forgives me when I'm in the wrong and lovingly corrects me when it's needed.
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He is the most amazing father to Isaac. (Right now as I'm typing this, he has taken Isaac to run an errand so I could have some alone time. It's just been one of those mornings. But I didn't ask. He foresaw what I needed and just did it). He spends so much time with him. He teaches and guides him, and the kid is only 15 months old. He wrestles with him and shows him affection.
Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." I would say that the opposite is equally true, especially in a world today where real men have become more difficult to find among a sea of boys who can shave.

Today I am thankful that I found not just a husband, but a Godly husband. And that is a good thing.


  1. It is not good for me to cry at work. From now on I will read your posts at home.

  2. happy anniversary to such a sweet, God loving, in love couple!

  3. Happy anniversary - to you and your man. :)