Thursday, December 15, 2011

strong opinions on parenting and judgement

Have you read this post? If you haven't yet, I definitely recommend it. It's awesome. And it will shed some light on the title of my post.


I'm going to admit something to you. It's a sin that I struggle with and have for a long time. Are you ready?:


Man, am I judgemental. In fact, I just told my husband that I'm writing a post on judgement and he said, "Of course you are. You're the most judge-y judge-erson I know." Of course it was just playful banter.

But ouch. The truth hurts.

Thankfully though, the Lord has been slowly pressing and molding and changing my heart in this area.
Thankfully I'm not stuck, wading in the pool of my own sin, struggling to get out... anymore.
Thankfully we are given a new heart when we become sons and daughters of God.

In Matthew 5:7, Jesus says to His disciples,
"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy."
Here's how I saw that verse: In those times that I'm merciful to others I can be certain that mercy will be shown to me by the Lord. Kinda like, if I'm merciful I get mercy, but if I'm not merciful than it's no big deal, I just won't get anything.

But it's Jesus' brother James who shows us the other side of the coin: James 2:11,
"...judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful."
Whoa. This verse really put Jesus' statement into perspective for me. It's not just that I won't receive mercy, but that I'll receive judgement without mercy.

So here was the takeaway for me: God was merciful (and is daily) to me. I am to show that same mercy to others. No judgement. Just mercy. And that is hard.


So back to the article I initially asked if you've read. It's about all the strong opinions out there on the topic of parenting. And if you've spent any time online looking up topics like co-sleeping, CIO, breastfeeding, baby food, discipline, vaccine schedules, etc, than you know that tempers run high, people get angry, defensive and judgemental.

And this is an area that God has radically changed my heart in regards to others. I've made a decision not to judge mothers for their chosen parenting practices.

Of course we all think our way is the right way, that's why we do it that way! But, the last thing I want is unsolicited advice about how to raise my own child. So I'm not going to give it to others unless it's asked for.

isaac's feet

By the way, the last part of that verse in James says, "Mercy triumphs over judgement!"

Next time I feel the urge to judge someone, for what ever reason, I'm going to remind myself to let mercy triumph. Thanks to the Lord, I am given more than I deserve, every single day. The least I can do is afford the same mercy to others.



  1. I struggle with this as well. I just always remind myself " who am I????". Who am I to judge someone of ANYTHING. It's human nature to judge people, places and things but as long as we are taking steps forward in trying to change I think God sees that and appreciates that. Way to Go :)

  2. I was put in my place after having my first child and successfully nursing him for almost two years. I was berating a neighbor for not even TRYING to nurse her babies, she said very simply "formula is not poison. I am not murdering them I am just choosing a different way to feed them than you did." I thought about that long and hard and realized, she was right. It's a different way, it doesn't make it wrong. I find myself more encouraging now, but if it's not working, or you just don't wanna do it I'm atleast so glad you decided to KEEP the baby alive. I keep the focus on that, and my heart is changed.

  3. beautiful post :) Happy I found your blog today!

  4. It's hard not to judge sometimes especially when we have strong feelings about a particular topi (like parenting issues!). But it's so important. We never know the struggles of others.

  5. I think you nailed it when you said that you won't offer your advice/opinion unless it's asked for. In my experience, that has always been the best way but I failed so miserably at it. I so appreciate your transparency here. I am like you in that I can be extremely judgmental, but I hate to say it-- I am more fake about it than real. Because I crave harmony, I won't make a "big stink about it," but I'll seethe in private :) So good for you for embracing what you need to work on and asking God to change your already beautiful heart!! xoxox

  6. Such pretty photos!


  7. Yes! Beautifully written, thank you Jessi! We are new creatures in Christ and we need to CLAIM that victory, b/c we are just lost without it! We are NEW, He gives us a new spirit, and it's ours to claim! Daily we need to kill the flesh, that's all all of this is anyway: opinions, judgments, wanting to be heard, wanting and doing things "our" way, ALL of it is flesh.
    Thank you for sharing with all of us how God worked in you b/c you SOUGHT HIM, in judging, there are so many amazing verses on this.